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Miss Van Campen ignored the actual question。 She had to ignore it or leave the room。 She was not ready to leave because she had disliked me for a long time and she was now cashing in。
〃I have known many men to escape the front through self…inflicted wounds。〃
〃That wasnt the question。 I have seen self…inflicted wounds also。 I asked you if you had ever known a man who had tried to disable himself by kicking himself in the scrotum。 Because that is the nearest sensation to jaundice and it is a sensation that I believe few women have ever experienced。 That was why I asked you if you had ever had the jaundice; Miss Van Campen; because……〃 Miss Van Campen left the room。 Later Miss Gage came in。
〃What did you say to Van Campen? She was furious。〃
〃We were paring sensations。 I was going to suggest that she had never experienced childbirth……〃
〃Youre a fool;〃 Gage said。 〃Shes after your scalp。〃
〃She has my scalp;〃 I said。 〃Shes lost me my leave and she might try and get me court…martialled。 Shes mean enough。〃
〃She never liked you;〃 Gage said。 〃Whats it about?〃
〃She says Ive drunk myself into jaundice so as not to go back to the front。〃
〃Pooh;〃 said Gage。 〃Ill swear youve never taken a drink。 Everybody will swear youve never taken a drink。〃
〃She found the bottles。〃
〃Ive told you a hundred times to clear out those bottles。 Where are they now?〃
〃In the armoire。〃
〃Have you a suitcase?〃
〃No。 Put them in that rucksack。〃
Miss Gage packed the bottles in the rucksack。 〃Ill give them to the porter;〃 she said。 She started for the door。
〃Just a minute;〃 Miss Van Campen said。 〃Ill take those bottles。〃 She had the porter with her。 〃Carry them; please;〃 she said。 〃I want to show them to the doctor when I make my report。〃
She went down the hall。 The porter carried the sack。 He knew what was in it。
Nothing happened except that I lost my leave。
23
The night I was to return to the front I sent the porter down to hold a seat for me on the train when it came from Turin。 The train was to leave at midnight。 It was made up at Turin and reached Milan about half…past ten at night and lay in the station until time to leave。 You had to be there when it came in; to get a seat。 The porter took a friend with him; a machine…gunner on leave who worked in a tailor shop; and was sure that between them they could hold a place。 I gave them money for platform tickets and had them take my baggage。 There was a big rucksack and two musettes。
I said good…by at the hospital at about five oclock and went out。 The porter had my baggage in his lodge and I told him I would be at the station a little before midnight。 His wife called me 〃Signorino〃 and cried。 She wiped her eyes and shook hands and then cried again。 I patted her on the back and she cried once more。 She had done my mending and was a very short dumpy; happy…faced woman with white hair。 When she cried her whole face went to pieces。 I went down to the corner where there was a wine shop and waited inside looking out the window。 It was dark outside and cold and misty。 I paid for my coffee and grappa and I watched the people going by in the light from the window。 I saw Catherine and knocked on the window。 She looked; saw me and smiled; and I went out to meet her。 She was wearing a dark blue cape and a soft felt hat。 We walked along together; along the sidewalk past the wine shops; then across the market square and up the street and through the archway to the cathedral square。 There were streetcar tracks and beyond them was the cathedral。 It was white and wet in the mist。 We crossed the tram tracks。 On our left were the shops; their windows lighted; and the entrance to the galleria。 There was a fog in the square and when we came close to the front of the cathedral it was very big and the stone was wet。
〃Would you like to go in?〃
〃No;〃 Catherine said。 We walked along。 There was a soldier standing with his girl in the shadow of one of the stone buttresses ahead of us and we passed them。 They were standing tight up against the stone and he had put his cape around her。
〃Theyre like us;〃 I said。
〃Nobody is like us;〃 Catherine said。 She did not mean it happily。
〃I wish they had some place to go。〃
〃It mightnt do them any good。〃
〃I dont know。 Everybody ought to have some place to go。〃
〃They have the cathedral;〃 Catherine said。 We were past it now。 We crossed the far end of the square and looked back at the cathedral。 It was fine in the mist。 We were standing in front of the leather goods shop。 There were riding boots; a rucksack and ski boots in the window。 Each article was set apart as an exhibit; the rucksack in the centre; the riding boots on one side and the ski boots on the other。 The leather was dark and oiled smooth as a used saddle。 The electric light made high lights on the dull oiled leather。
〃Well ski some time。〃
〃In two months there will be ski…ing at Mflrren;〃 Catherine said。
〃Lets go there。〃
〃All right;〃 she said。 We went on past other windows and turned down a side street。
〃Ive never been this way。〃
〃This is the way I go to the hospital;〃 I said。 It was a narrow street and we kept on the right…hand side。 There were many people passing in the fog。 There were shops and all the windows were lighted。 We looked in a window at a pile of cheeses。 I stopped in front of an armorers shop。
〃e in a minute。 I have to buy a gun。〃
〃What sort of gun?〃
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